Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Santa Ain't Got No Time For That!

There are few things that my husband, Steven, and I get in what I would call real fights about.  I'm talking true, in-your-face, if-you-say-one-more-thing-I-just-might-have-to-throw-something-at-you, yelling matches. I'm not saying that we don't get snippy or snide from time to time. And I'm certainly not saying that we are immune to, dare I say, sarcasm or passive-aggressive comments. For the most part, we're good about talking out what's on our minds and dealing with what's going on.  Plus, we just usually get along. 
This generally harmonious union gets pretty shaken up when one particular topic gets brought to light. And here lately, it's been brought up a little too often.  And that little bit of destructiveness revolves around the jolliest of symbols for the holiday season.  It all started with a question. Does Santa wrap the gifts that he brings?  I know what you're thinking?  That's it?  That's what all the hooplah is about?  And the answer is a resounding YES!  The discussion of this one measly topic makes my blood pressure go up and threatens to start a migraine. 
So here's my take (and also why I'm right).
I grew up with a Santa that did not wrap gifts and I have no intention of having a Santa in my house that does.  Oh, the big guy in your house did?  Yeah, don't care.  Go sit with my husband and pout about it, because you get no sympathy from me on the subject.  I plan to win this argument.  And I will do so by sheer, brute force if I have to.  It's that serious in our house, folks. 
My husband's Santa wrapped everything.  Good for him.  Glad he had the time.  Or the want.  Or the misguided thinking that lead to such poor decision making.  And because he grew up in a house where everything was so lovingly placed in paper, he believes that his son should have the same.  In fact, he wanted to try and guilt me into such behavior.  He actually said to me, "Why aren't my traditions important?"  Well, to that I remind him that the boy already has his face and his last name—two things I don't see him getting rid of any time soon.  Deal with it, my friend.  By the way, my husband also likes to state that our Jack gets his stubborn streak from me.  Well, let's prove it to Daddy, shall we?
My sister and I got gifts from our Santa unwrapped while the ones from our parents were wrapped up.  That's just how we did it.  Steven likes to argue that seeing everything laid out takes the joy and surprise out of it.  Well, seeing as how he's never had his gifts unwrapped I'm not sure how he can make such a broad statement.  But that's just my opinion.  My other opinion, is that he's wrong.  Period. The end.  We were always excited to see what we received from Santa, and looking at our perfectly placed piles (Santa was always so, so good at pile-making) never took away from anything. 
I tried to tell Steven that if he wanted to have Santa wrap gifts—HE could make sure that happened.  And he told me he would—in bags.  Are you kidding?!  Santa can't wrap in bags!  Come on, man, get it together!  How is Santa supposed to carry around a bag full of bagged items from house to house?  There's no way. And, if you're going to wrap, you need to do it right.  So I pulled the offer.  And got annoyed that it was even accepted (no matter how poorly).  
Everything about this annoys me.  Aggravates me. 

I'm sure this seems silly.  Maybe it is.  And I'm sure this has everything to do with how (and possibly where) you were raised.  I have a few friends that grew up around here that had Santas that wrapped.  Sigh* Tragic.  But for the most part it seems to be a "you ain't from 'round these parts" type thing.  Now The Hubby grew up in North Carolina. His parents?  New York.  Slightly different.  Not better, not worse.  And really, unless we're talking about whether or not Santa wraps gifts, no big deal. 
But we are.  And we are currently a week from Christmas and I'm not sure we've actually come to an agreement that we're happy with.  Because I do want Steven to be happy.  As long as he's happy doing it my way, of course.


  1. It breaks my heart to tell you this.... you're wrong. Nope, actually that didn't feel that bad! You're wrong. Steven's right. Yep, plain & simple. Team Steven on this one.

    I still love you though.

    1. I can tell that really killed you to say! HA! Aren't you glad you don't have to say that I'm wrong often? ;)

  2. I am Team Steven also......I too think not having them wrapped takes all the fun out of it.......Maybe some can be wrapped from Santa and some not to compromise....

  3. Team Jessica all the way!!!!! Santa is a master pile maker with unwrapped gifts!!!!!
    <3 Rachel

  4. My Santa wrapped a couple of things but definitely not everything. She might put a thing or two in a printed box and wrap something that was a surprise or something like that. However, NOTHING about the surprise or wonderment of Santa was ruined by the things that were not opened. I was excited about and grateful for everything I received from Santa.

  5. This is one of my favorite blogs so far! Hilarious! Obviously we grew up in the same house and my Santa didn't wrap... But now that I have two kids and have been a Santa that wraps and a Santa that doesn't I can definitely say that a non wrapping Santa is the better of the two! The reasoning is simple.

    1. Once you buy paper that Santa wraps with you better hide that crap and throw it away when you are done because your children will find it and all of a sudden you have some explaining to do.

    2. Who has time?

    3. The kids are so concerned with ripping into everything that they don't pay attention to who gave what and end up having no idea what Santa brought them.

    To each their own! For me personally, I prefer my Santa little on the lazy side with unwrapped gifts! :)

  6. I am having the same debate with my significant other. Santa never wrapped our gifts, but they were laid out with pride and set up very attractive, but Daddy in my house thinks that all gifts should be wrapped ( we have THREE kids) no thanks! I agree with you. My mom always said that Santa didn't have time to wrap presents LOL

  7. The ONLY gift I remember being from Santa was when I had Christmas at my uncle's house in San Francisco back in 1987. It was the only time I received an unwrapped gift. He explained that's how Santa does it in CA because there's too many kids to wrap them all. It was a pink Barbie shower with working water and a bar of soap along with a Malibu Barbie in a blue bikini. Now tell me that didn't have an impact;) We will be giving our 16 month old son his 1 big gift from Santa, unwrapped. The rest can be adorned in paper from mama and dada.