I can be a bit of a worrier. I've probably said that before, haven't I? Thoughts of what could go wrong get stuck in my head and there they stay until the reality of what actually happens either proves them wrong or, gasp, proves them right.
Truth be told they're usually wrong. I mean, I've got a pretty good imagination for the potentially terrible. I can make the thought of any might-be-bad situation exponentially worse within the confines of my mind. To the point of being almost disappointed once what transpires is pretty comparatively mild. I mean, can you imagine the one-liners, conversation points and funny, life changing stories I haven't been able to use because the people involved in my made up scenarios didn't stick to my imaginary scripts? It's a shame, really.
Except that it's not.
It's good that things don't go near as badly as I think they will--with a few exceptions. Exceptions can be doozies. And doozies are not good. Ever.
Steven and I have a few things coming up that are causing a little anxiety for us. Some personal, some professional. (But really, don't professional things affect the personal?) None of it is bad stuff. Not now any way. In fact it all has the potential to be very good. But I guess the very good, if it doesn't go like you want, can turn around and smack you right across the face. And that's what I want to be ready for. Ain't no bad news gonna come at me like a ninja. I'm going to be prepared. So I'm going to over think, over analyze and potentially over dramatize (who, me?) what could go wrong. Just in case it doesn't go right.
And it leaves me feeling anxious, tired and a bit like I might throw up. And that, my friends, is not any way to live.
During one of my quick passes through Pinterest (does anyone ever get on Pinterest quickly?) I saw this little bit of truth:
There's that lightbulb. Jess, you're a smart cookie. Let's act like it. Stuff is going to happen. The little, the big. Getting all freaked out about which one is going to happen next isn't going to stop either of them. And ruining all the really good stuff going on right now over-thinking what might not even happen later is a waste of time, energy and good creativity.
I've already told you that I'm trying to think more positively about the things that are going on in my life and the people that come in and out of it. Well, it's about time to get that way about the future stuff, too.
Live in the here and now. God's taking care of tomorrow. And when tomorrow gets here, I'll deal with it. Whether it's little or big. Whether it stinks or comes up roses.
This stuff isn't easy. When I think about what may come I still get those butterflies in my belly. I'm human. I'm a mom. I'm a girl, for crying out loud! I'm just plain hardwired for some of this. But the best way to battle those feelings, to stop the self-nagging, and tomorrow-dreading, is to turn to the only One who has any control over any of it anyway. Trust Him and His plan. He's got this, remember? And just because it may not turn out just like you want does not mean it won't turn out just as it should. Pray for the peace that comes with truly believing that.
Then worry can't steal any more todays. And tomorrow doesn't seem quite so scary.